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So the candidates were the white ones

Ever since I moved to Switzerland in 1991, after having lived almost twenty years in California, people occasionally ask, Is there something you miss? Well, I certainly don't miss the traffic jams on the grotesquely overloaded freeways, nor the weird people who made their home in the Sausalito post office and hit me up for spare change when I checked my mailbox at three in the morning, nor the moonbat politics and self-righteous politicians, nor the tax Nazis who make the IRS look like a huggable teddy bear

You can also do this on a mandoline (you might want to quarter before slicing) or in a food processor with the shredding attachment